Second, I read back through my old posts on here and have discovered a shocking progression. I am less funny than I used to be. This needs to change. Starting now.
An idea I've had for a long time but never actually acted upon is something I call "Sarcastic Stickies". The recipe calls for sticky notes, a pen, a sharp wit, and a good sense of humor. Sometimes I see things that are just SO stupid that I think some sarcastic remark. At one point, it occurred to me that I ought to share this sarcasm with other people. But I never have. Example: You're at Applebee's (really, Spell Check? That's not in the dictionary yet?) in the bathroom. You see used paper towel on the counter - right next to the hole you're supposed to use (the magical one with a trash can under it). While you would usually just push it in with your paper towel, I occasionally have the desire to leave a message, "Because the extra 3 inches was just too far for my weak arms."
In other news, my friend just got me The Book of "Unnecessary" Quotation Marks (from this blog) and I read it today and it's "hilarious".
If you have never read the Series of Unfortunate Events by Lemony Snicket, you are really missing out. Here are two quotes from his books:
"Just about everything in this world is easier said than done, which the exception of "systematically assisting Sisyphus's stealthy, cyst-susceptible sister," which is easier done than said."
"If an optimist had his left arm chewed off by an alligator, he might say, in a pleasant and hopeful voice, "Well, this isn't too bad. I don't have my left arm anymore, but at least nobody will ever ask me whether I am right-handed or left-handed," but most of us would say something more along the lines of "Aaaah! My arm! My arm!""
Well, shorter blogs can be funnier than longer blogs, just like shorter people can be taller than funnier people. Wait. What?
Love and Colored Pens,
P.S. Oh yeah. Merry Christmas!!