Red Velvet Cake

I really don't like Red Velvet cake.  Here's why:

1. It's not chocolate and it's not vanilla; it's in some no-man's land in between.  Just pick a side!

2. No one wants to consume an entire bottle of red food coloring in one sitting.

3. Most people only think they like it because it's super trendy.  There are Red Velvet scented candles, for crying out loud!  What do they smell like??  Mostly nothing, with the merest pathetic hint of chocolate, if you ask me.

4. There is a traditional frosting (which I don't like), but most people make it with cream cheese frosting (which I hate, because it makes me throw up).

5. The historical versions of Red Velvet cake did not use food coloring, but rather a chemical reaction.  They had a significantly less garish shade of red, but people also probably didn't die from toxic waste intake.

Okay, so you understand that I really don't like it.  Then why on earth did I make it - twice?

Well, a fellow library employee was leaving our branch after about six years of employment there and my boss wanted a party - with cake.  "Yes, we want cake!" hinted all the other employees, but not one of them volunteered to make the cake or even buy it.  So I did.  "What's her favorite cake?" I asked, innocently hoping it would be chocolate, like any sensible person would choose.  "She LOVES Red Velvet cake!" was the enthusiastic reply.

So, I had to learn to make Red Velvet cake.  I started with cupcakes the weekend before, and they actually turned out pretty well.  I chose a recipe with less food coloring than most.

I will say this for Red Velvet cake - it has an amazing texture.  And I guess if you really like the 'hint of chocolate' thing, then I can't begrudge you this cake.  However, if you only like it because it's trendy and/or colorful, I'm judging you.

I topped them with a vanilla buttercream, because I can't eat cream cheese frosting, and that was the perfect choice.  Except for where I just wanted to eat the frosting because it's way better than the cake.

For the actual party, I made two 9x13 pans of cake: one Red Velvet and one chocolate.

(Yes, I am aware that I'm not that great at writing on cakes.)

And for the record, the chocolate cake was gone much sooner than the Red Velvet cake.  Probably because I make a kick-butt chocolate cake.

My favorite part of the day, other than eating chocolate cake and then eating pizza, was that everyone kept saying what amazing cream cheese frosting I made!  I agree - the best cream cheese frosting is one that has no cream cheese! :)

Love and Cocoa Powder,

Leah Joy

Be Thrifty - Book Review/Rant

Yesterday, I finished reading (also, skimming) the book Be Thrifty - How to Live Better with Less (edited by Pia Catton and Califia Suntree).  While I appreciated the idea of the book and the ideas in the book, it was definitely not written for people like me.  It was written by people like me.  (Which is why I ended up skimming many sections.)

However, if you are not naturally thrifty, were not raised in a thrifty home, or just want to be thriftier, this book is a great resource.

With - in my opinion - one notable exception.

There was very little mention of libraries.

There was a part where it mentioned having to give up some luxuries in order to afford more necessary things.  You know, luxuries, like your daily Starbucks coffee, the latest trendy clothing, and novels.  You can save a ton by making your own coffee at home.  Instead of shelling out a fortune for the latest trendy clothes, invest in clothing that will last in both a literal sense and a style sense.  But there is no alternative for novels.  Apparently, to be thrifty you should give up reading.

Hello?

First of all, I realize that not every community is blessed with a public library.  But if your community is, and you haven't checked it out yet, why the heck not?

Before I started working at our local library, I knew it had a lot to offer.  I was raised going there once a week, so I knew I could get any book and it would be mine for 3 weeks!  I could bring it back and get another!  (Or, more realistically, I could get out 10 books, bring them back and get 10 more.)  At some point, I also realized they had an extensive collection of DVDs and CDs, and these could also be checked out!  There was also a magazine room, and I mostly used that for the Consumer's Reports.  As I got older, I also learned that there were other library branches and a whole system of libraries who were friends with each other, so I could request books from other libraries in my state, and they would send them to my library for free!  How cool is that?

And now that I work at the library, I realize there's way more than that.  There are story times for babies, toddlers, and children multiple times a week.  There are completely free classes for adults on everything from painting glassware to using Facebook.  There are free classes and activities for kids and teens.  There are video games you can rent.  And while I knew there were a lot of sections of books and media, I never realized quite how many.  I've discovered a whole section of classic fairy tales from different countries in the non-fiction section.  I've discovered shelves full of exercise DVDs.  I've discovered repair manuals for just about every car in existence.  I've discovered audio books - not just of stories, but also ones to help you learn a new language.  My library subscribes to crochet and knitting magazines - and I can check these out and take them home with me!  And there's so much more!

I've just spent two large paragraphs expounding on the wonders of the library, and you might be wondering if I have a point.  And I do.  Several points, naturally.

First of all, you don't need to deprive yourself of books to be thrifty.  Actually, you can be super thrifty and extremely well-read, because it's free!

Second, you don't need to stop seeing movies because you don't want to pay the rental fees.  It's free at the library!  If you can be patient enough to wait until the movie comes out to DVD, you can even avoid going to the theater all together (and save about $20 in the process).  (Side note: it is fun to go to the theater once in a while for a treat!)

Third, you can expand your musical horizons for free!  Be Thrifty recommends doing this by finding an used CD store, purchasing CDs that look interesting, and then selling back the ones you don't like.  You know what's thriftier?  Checking them out from the library, making a list of the ones you would like to own, and then purchasing those from an used CD store.  (Don't rip music from library CDs; that's illegal and very mean to musicians, song-writers, and everyone else in the music industry.)

Fourth, you can learn a new skill for basically free!  Be Thrifty recommends knitting as a great way to make handmade gifts, but also warns that it can be an expensive hobby.  True, you have to purchase needles and yarn, but the book also mentions the cost of patterns ($10 each and $50 for a book).  I have never in my entire life purchased a crochet or knitting pattern.  There are tens of thousands of free patterns available online, for starters, and thousands of patterns available in books and magazines at your local library.  They might even teach a class on how to knit, but if not, there's sure to be a book on it!  (I did appreciate the tip from Be Thrifty to find a sweater at the thrift store made with cool yarn and unravel it for your own project.)

I could go on, but I think you get the point.  Your local library is an incredible source for so many things: books, movies, music, games, and classes - both for fun and for education (and sometimes both).  To not use it is a grievous waste!

In conclusion, Be Thrifty is a great book if you're looking for ways to save money or, well, be thrifty.  If, however, you were raised by a Dutch woman with a tight budget, you can probably skip over this one on the library shelf.

Love and Advocacy,
Leah Joy

The Monday Rant: "Streusel Cupcakes"

I got this recipe for "Streusel Cupcakes" from Martha Stewart's cupcake book.  And it is not worth your time.  The recipe comes in three parts: the batter, the streusel topping, and the glaze.  You spoon the batter into the baking cups, sprinkle half the topping down on top and then press it in to the batter, then add the rest of the topping.  And there is a lot of topping.  There was probably at least 3/4" of streusel on top of each cupcake.  After baking, you glaze the "cupcakes".  This is what they looked like without the glaze:

Um, where did all the topping go?  I can guarantee you it's not at the bottom of my oven; I checked.  And they are really, really ugly.  All I could do was laugh at them.  I tried one of them without the glaze, though, and it was actually gross.  With the glaze, they were better, but still not great.

I ended up doubling the glaze, which made them okay to eat.  We also discovered that they 'age' well.  After sitting in their containers for a day or two, they get denser, which makes them actually much better.  A streusel cupcake (or muffin) shouldn't be light and fluffy like many cupcakes; it needs to be dense.  

But still, these weren't worth it, and even after bringing them to church to share I have leftovers.  I might break the cardinal rule of being Dutch and just throw the last few away. :(

Love and Powdered Sugar,

Leah Joy

The Monday Rant: Our Yard

Earlier this year, I shared this photo of my new hydrangea bush.

Since then, it has grown lovely bluish-purple blooms!

And then they started doing construction/electrical work on our corner:

My poor bush!  Somehow it's still alive, though!

Elsewhere in our yard, construction vehicles have left long trenches:

It's hard to tell in these pictures, but these trenches are a good foot deep.

Now they've finally finished the project (we hope), which was installing new traffic lights, but so far, they haven't cleaned up our corner.  Thanks, guys!

Love and Patience,

Leah Joy

P.S. I'm sure they'll eventually get to fixing the corner of our yard or it would reflect very poorly on them, but this project has taken months and months!

The Monday Rant: Sharing Horror Stories

A few months ago, I had my wisdom teeth removed.  Prior to having the actual surgery, I heard every opinion from "Oh, it's nothing, just a routine thing everyone gets done," to "It is the worst thing you will ever experience in your entire life."  Funnily enough, no one had a sort of middle-of-the-road opinion of the procedure.

My opinion? Well, for the record, I had two wisdom teeth: one partially erupted and one impacted.  I chose local anesthesia only, with no IV sedation (because I'm cheap and have a high pain tolerance).  The partially erupted tooth came out so quickly and easily, I could hardly believe they could be done.  The impacted tooth was more painful because they had to use a drill to break it into multiple pieces.  Did I cry?  Sure I did; it hurt a lot.  But you know what?  I'm pretty sure that when I experience childbirth someday, that will be more painful.  And I've never had a broken bone, but that sounds pretty painful.  So wisdom teeth removal?  Middle of the road.

And you know what else?  Hearing everyone else's horror stories didn't help me.  At all.  Not even yours, Mom.  (Sorry.)

So I would like to question why we do this.  Why do we feel the need to freak everyone out with our stories?  I heard from one person who said she needed 26 shots of local anesthesia in her mouth.  Someone else got infected for a week and was in terrible pain.  I believe that it was horrible for you, but how is sharing that with me going to assist me in my preparation at all?  Every single person is different, so every single experience is going to be different, too.  I may or not get infected; I may or may not need extra anesthesia.  There's no way to know until I'm there.

You know where I experience this idea the most?  Bridal shower and baby showers.  This is actually the main reason I hate these showers so much (with the ridiculous amount of estrogen and perfume in one room being the second reason).

Bridal shower: every married woman feels superior to the bride-to-be because the Mrs. has so much more experience.  The married women at the shower smile patronizingly on the bride-to-be because of her sweet innocent beliefs on marriage.  "Just you wait, honey," they say.  "You'll see..."  "Hah, someday you'll be singing a different song."  And then they exchange knowing glances with each other.  And if any woman who has been married, oh, let's say, only two to three years tries to defend the bride and the general institution of marriage, then that woman is also looked down upon and patronized as a childish newlywed with absolutely no experience whose opinion is entirely invalid.  If these women hate marriage that much, why did they get married in the first place?

Baby shower: every woman with a child feels the need to relate her entire childbirth story to the expectant mother.  The expectant mother, despite being pregnant and having every excuse to be *ahem* 'emotional', is instead expected to sit politely and listen to these horrendous accounts of centimeters and hours in exchange for a gift.  Again, all the mothers exchange knowing glances when the expectant mother says anything about how she plans to raise this child.  "You'll see...." "Hah, someday you'll be singing a different song."  "Just you wait, honey."  And heaven forbid anyone who has never had a child tries to participate in a conversation about child-rearing!  Never mind how many younger siblings this person has or her experience in child-care!  If you have not birthed a child, you have no right to speak on such things!

And guess what?  They're right, in a way.  They do have experience on their side.  But just like every person who has their wisdom teeth out has a different experience, so does every person who is married or expecting a child.  Did you know that only 50% of pregnant women experience morning sickness?  Yet the way people go on at baby showers, you would think you couldn't be pregnant without throwing up at least once a day for 9 months.

All this to say: shut up.  If you legitimately sense a real and/or dangerous lack of judgment, by all means, speak up.  But if you only want to share your horror story to fill up space, just stop.  Think about when you were getting your wisdom teeth out, or engaged to be married, or expecting your first child.  Would the story you are trying to share have blessed you then?  If not, then shut your pie hole.  And eat some pie, because you clearly need some.

This is perhaps a partially unfair rant.  There are plenty of women who attend bridal and baby showers who have positive stories to tell and encouragement to share.  These women are usually the quiet, polite ones.  If you are one of these women, first of all, God bless you - and I'm so glad you came to this shower!  And now, I beg you to share your positive stories and encouragement.  Be assertive and use up that air space that otherwise would be filled with horror stories.

And finally, this is NOT an announcement.

Love and Pie,
Leah Joy

The Monday Rant: Spring Cleaning

This rant is probably not what you think it's going to be.  I actually enjoy Spring Cleaning - well, most of it anyway. I enjoy getting rid of stuff, clearing up space where clutter lived before, and living in the final result.  I'm not a big fan of mopping my floor or vacuuming or dusting, but the rest of it, I don't mind.

No, as usual, this rant is about another person.

I have mentioned to several people that I'm doing some crazy Spring Cleaning this year.  (Update later this week.)  Most of the responses are something like this:

"Wow!  Good for you!" (non-sarcastically)
"Wow - I haven't even thought about starting our Spring Cleaning yet!"
"Want to come over and clean my house?"

None of those bother me at all.  What bothers me was the person who replied in this manner:

"Oh, I don't Spring Clean.  I just keep my house clean all year round."

Okay, who else wants to join me in punching this person?  Or better yet, tramping through their house with muddy boots?

I mean, seriously?  And this was said with as pompous and patronizing an air as you can imagine, like I was some sort of dirty peasant because I couldn't manage to keep my house spotless at every given moment.  They didn't expect me to be able to keep my house clean - of course not me- but still, some people can manage to do so.

Do you know why I Spring Clean?  It's a two-fold thing.  First of all, I Spring Clean for the same reason most people Spring Clean.  Clutter accumulates, dust gets into forgotten corners, and the house just needs an overall refreshing clean.  Why not do so when the weather is bursting with freshness, too?  But second of all, I Spring Clean because this summer I'll be working full-time and my husband will be working over 60 hours a week.  I will have so little time to clean; all I will be able to do is maintain.

Therefore, I Spring Clean so that if my toilet seat only gets wiped down with Clorox wipes for 10 weeks, I can be okay with that.  I Spring Clean so that if someone stops over unexpectedly, I can know that at least the floor was vacuumed within the last month or so.  I Spring Clean so that when I'm in a rush looking for something, I can know right where it is, because I dealt with literally every object in my home earlier in the year.

This summer, I plan to take 15 minutes every morning to clean my house.  This will include washing dishes (which does not take as long as you think it does - seriously, time yourself sometime), maintaining the kitchen, sorting laundry, wiping down the bathroom, opening the curtains, tidying the house, etc.  Of course not all in the same day, but you can get a lot more done in 15 minutes than you might think.

Therefore, I Spring Clean so that these 15 minutes a day will be enough to keep my house in decent shape.

So forgive me for actually having a life, but my husband and I will only get to see each other for a few hours in the evening and on the weekends.  Excuse me if I don't spend them keeping our house perfectly clean.

Love and Fairy Tales,
Leah Joy

P.S. I'll probably also have to Fall Clean to take care of the aftermath.

The Monday Rant: Anti-Valentine's Day

Welcome to Valentine's Week - yes, a whole week!  Not just a day.  Why would you want to limit your celebration of love to just one day?  We all know my favorite holiday is Christmas, but Valentine's Day is so much fun, too.  Yet, there are some people who seem to think that it is a terrible holiday and do everything in their power to spoil other people's fun.

Now, it might seem pretty pointless for a happily-married woman to argue that you should love Valentine's Day, too, no matter what your current romantic situation, but just hear me out.  This will only be my 3rd happily married Valentine's Day, meaning that I have spent a lot of Valentine's Days un-married.  I've had single-and-happy Valentine's Days, dating-and-happy Valentine's Days, dating-and-wondering-why-I'm-still-dating Valentine's Days, single-and-lonely Valentine's Days, and once in college, I even had the classic single-and-still-got-3-unsolicited-Valentine's-cards-from-creepy-guys Valentine's Day.

So I get it.  I get that that 'evil' redhead rejected you 5 years ago and you still can't get over it and be happy.  I get that you were only trying to be nice to those guys who didn't seem to have any other friends and they took it the wrong way.  But I'm here to remind you that there is more than one kind of love!

Some of my favorite Valentine's Days were spent with my family and friends!  My mom and sister and I would get out the craft supplies and make Valentine's cards for our family members.  My little brother would share his leftover Halloween candy (kid is a health nut).  My dad would buy us flowers and chocolate.  And we'd bake cookies and eat conversation hearts.  I'd give cards and cookies to my best friends.  Does that really sound so terrible?

We're celebrating love here - and it doesn't have to just be romantic love!  We can celebrate friendship and family!

Now, for those last few remaining skeptics: yes, you in the happy relationship who persists in remaining anti-Valentine's Day because "it's just a holiday thought up by greeting card companies".  Think again - because that's not true.  Look it up.  (That is true, however, for Sweetest Day.)  Besides, you don't have to support big businesses, greeting card companies, or any business at all to celebrate Valentine's Day.  Make a homemade card.  Bake cookies.  Do something special for your loved ones: take a walk with them, watch a movie together, take them out for dinner - whatever makes them feel loved.  Take time out of your day to notice them and love them!

Now go forth and celebrate love!

Love and More Love,
Leah Joy

The Monday Rant: Snow and Insomnia

How original, right?  I'm now on Day 16 of this current bout with insomnia.  Now, before you freak out and wonder why I'm not dead, I don't mean that I haven't slept at all in 16 days.  Most nights I get about an hour of sleep, though it's fitful and spread out over the 8 hours I spend in bed.  A few nights I've gotten as much as 4-5 hours, which feels amazing, but mostly I'm just tired all the time.  

Michigan is currently in a Polar Vortex.  We have 5-foot snow piles by the road (snowplow + shoveling) and knee-deep snow all over the yard.  I've even driven by some drifts that had to be upwards of 6 feet.  I know that it's good for the environment and the Great Lakes and all that, so I try not to complain too much, but I am sick of shoveling!  

Our roof has these cool snow 'awnings' though.

They hang down so low I have to duck to get into the garage.

You see that divot on the very right of this 'awning'?  That's from the van. 

Oh, and the good news is we'll be getting a new mail box come Spring.  For now, this guy is propped very precariously here after getting knocked off several times by the force of the snow plows.  (I took this picture  straight on to where the mail box should be.  It keeps getting knocked this way.)

But you know, it can be really pretty:

Love and More Snow,

Leah Joy

The Monday Rant: Grammar and Spelling

Hi, welcome to the Internet, where apparently it's okay to forget everything you ever learned in school and spell words however you feel is right (you dirty hippie).  Don't bother proofreading or double-checking your spelling; people can figure it out and they can just deal.

Why do we settle for stupidity?  Nothing drives me more insane than seeing people who know how to spell and use the English language misuse the English language.  Okay, actually there are three things that drive me equally insane.  They are as follows:

1. Someone I know received a good education misusing the English language. 

2. People who were homeschooled misusing the English language.  You should know better and represent your sub-culture better! (And also, I would hope that homeschooling is a better-than-good education, but sadly, I know a few families who have extremely low standards.)

3. People who are English majors misusing the English language.  Gah!

Yep, okay, that's my rant.  I have to stop now because otherwise it will get personal and really ugly.

Oh no, I can't stop!  

What you may not understand, dear reader, is that it is actually physically painful to read your bad spelling and grammar.  If I know the person does not know better (foreign exchange student, someone just learning the language, cousin from the boonies, etc.), it hurts, but not as much.  However, when someone clearly knows the rules and breaks them purposely to annoy the 'Grammar Nazis' (Heil Syntax!), I promise you that brain cells die.  No, they don't just die; they are killed in a mass brain-cell genocide.  That's right, you, the anti-grammar-Nazi, have caused genocide.  How do you feel now?

I'm not talking about MLA or APA perfect grammar and syntax.  Everyone has their own personal opinion of how many commas one should utilize.  I am asking for basic spelling (really, you have spell check and therefore no excuses), grammar (I know you know better), and punctuation (periods really help finish a sentence off in style).

Now I have to proofread this post five times so I don't get nailed on my own rant.

Love and Parenthetical Remarks,
Leah Joy

P.S. Any comments consisting of purposeful poor grammar will be deleted in order to help stop the brain-cell genocide.

The Monday Rant: More Pointless, Pathetic Puns

I probably shouldn't be writing a blog post today. I didn't sleep at all Saturday night, and I got about 1 hour last night.  Huzzah for insomnia!  So, ranting might get ugly.  Mwahahahaha.

In 2012, I wrote about people using stupid "puns" to make their gifts *ahem* "better".  Please go read that post again first, because I did a really great job with it, and then I won't have to be so mean today.  In case you missed the first two links, click HERE.

Okay, now that you remember how hilarious and witty I can be, let's get down to today's post.

Over Christmas, I was able to mostly ignore the 'punny' pins.  There just weren't that many of them.  But now, 'tis the season to drive me insane again.  It's hardly safe for me to go on Pinterest these days.  Why?  Because it's time to get ready for Valentine's Day.  I'm going to show you some of the worst puns I've seen.  And there are a lot of them.



So, wait, kids actually like these loom bracelets?  Okay, but again, one must spell words incorrectly, use them incorrectly ('Exudes' would have been a better word choice here.  You're basically saying that this person lights up the sweetness in others.  Not a bad quality, really, but not what I think the Valentine is trying to say.), and then capitalize one's own fatuity.



What does that even mean??



What happened to the good old days where a jar of cookie mix (without a homemade vinyl label!) was considered top of the line for a teacher gift?





While I appreciate the relative simplicity of this one (a bag of popcorn + ribbon + tag = no extreme sports required), why is "POPPIN'" in bigger letters than "Happy Valentine's Day"?  Isn't "Happy Valentine's Day" the whole point of a Valentine's Day card?



What happened to the good old days when kids made their own Valentine's Day cards?  You know, cut out 28 red hearts and wrote Happy Valentine's Day on them and taped a sucker to it?  (Or just bought the box of Beauty and the Beast Valentine's and signed their names....)  Why is it Mom's job to print, cut, and tape labels?



Squeezable applesauce??? Really? Also, if every child in your child's class is your child's main squeeze, you have other problems.



I 'dew' hate this pun.  Also, why are you giving people Mountain Dew?



Okay, I appreciate the attempt to get away from candy (because boxed cereal is sooo much healthier), and cereal is delicious, but "cerealsly"?  It's painful to read, type, or even think that non-word. (But at least the "cereal" part is underlined for the people who wouldn't have gotten it - you know, all those kids who can't read.)



I'm sorry, that is just way too much work for two Hershey's kisses that will be torn apart and devoured immediately.

Finally, I want to show you one cute one, because I can.



While I still don't appreciate that the parent is probably doing most of the work here, I do appreciate that there is no pun-underlining.  This is a direct quote from the movie, and there are Hershey's Hugs in the bag.  People are not actually that stupid.  Still a lot of work for Olaf - eyes, nose, and buttons have 3-D elements to be glued on - not to mention the printing, folding, bagging, stapling process, but at least there are no horrible puns.

(But I still say a red construction paper heart with a sucker taped to it is the best Valentine.) :)

Love and a Dictionary,
Leah Joy

We Do Too Much

You might be wondering where I've been for the past three weeks.  If you didn't notice, don't worry about it.  You've probably just been busy.  That's where I've been, too.  Caleb and I had two weeks straight where we had something going on every day (I held up until Tuesday of the first week, then gave up blogging).  The third week, we had a major event at the end of the week for which I prepped most of the week (I also was trying to recover from the previous two weeks).  And then yesterday, I cleaned my kitchen.  Yes, it took nearly all day, because I hadn't cleaned it in two weeks.  Slight exaggeration?  Hardly.  I washed dishes once in two weeks.  I know.  So much shame.  I wouldn't even let my mother in the house because I was so ashamed.  And I know some people have very judgmental mothers, but I do not. I figure my mom raised me and has seen my worst (stressful times in high school and college - my room would slowly leak out until it covered half the living room).  But this was awful, and not how I wanted my mom to remember me.

So today, my kitchen is slightly cleaner (I have Round 2 of the Mountain of Dishes to wash and there are fruit flies hovering around my sink, but still, it's cleaner than it was) and I tidied a bit around my living room, and I can think again.

And it's not okay to do that to myself ever again.  I know that sometimes life happens, but it's not okay for that to happen for three weeks.  Everything to which I committed myself was a good thing.  But good things for three weeks straight is too many things.  If I don't have the energy to even wipe down my toilet seat with a Clorox wipe, something is wrong.  Very wrong.

I think a lot of us do this.  Someone asks us to do something, and we're technically free that day, so we say yes.  We need to learn to say no sometimes.  We're really good at saying no when we already have something scheduled that day, because, really, that's our only option.  But when the day is free, but we were actually planning on relaxing that day?  We need to learn to say no.

I guess that's the good thing that came out of this last month.  I never want to go through this again.

So, I don't know when I'll be back. I want to write more and post about Christmas stuff and work on my 101 Things project (which, yes, I have hardly touched in the last month), but I'm also going to be practical.  This week is far less busy than the last three, so we'll see.

Love and A Clear Schedule,
Leah Joy

The Monday Rant: Let Me 'Splain

Sometimes on the Internet, I get really stupid comments.  As in, not thought through, purposefully spiteful (yet uninformed), or just plain stupid.  My first reaction is to argue back against their stupidity, but then I realize that this does no good.  It makes me mad, raises my blood pressure, doesn't solve anything, and only fuels discord.  So I take the path of simply deleting the comment.  But that doesn't mean it's not still in my head.  (Good heavens, I still have one stuck in my head from two years ago!)  So today, I'm going to argue back against one I received recently.

I read this book a couple of months ago (along with the other books in the series) and pinned it to my 'Books Read in 2013' board.  (Which, for the record, is simply a way for me to keep track of what I read.  My siblings keep an Excel spreadsheet, and I've never really had a system but wished I did, so this is what I use now.)



The comment was something along the lines of, "Childish?  Maybe you should read it again.  I love Wendy Mass and her books are so great.  If you can't appreciate books for younger audiences, maybe you should stop reading." 

Okay, can you just go for a second to my board?  Now, do you see any books for younger audiences?  Just about all of them, right?  Do they all have negative reviews?  Now let me tell you something.  If I read a book in a genre/style/lexile that I really don't enjoy, I may try one more book in that group, but if I don't enjoy that, I'm going to stop reading that group of books, not read 80 more. (Not an exaggeration.  I counted.)  I appreciate books for younger audiences.

What I meant by the word 'childish' is this: the book was written as if the children for which it is intended do not have a very large vocabulary, do not enjoy a book that challenges their reading ability, and need things explained very clearly because they can't understand the first time.

Of the 105 books I have read so far this year, 80 of them came from the Juvenile Fiction section.  Of these 80, many of them were truly well-written.  The writing style did not hamper the story.  It may not have challenged me (as an older reader), but it did not drag along either.  Do you get what I'm saying?  There are childish books that are well-written and then there are childish books that are childishly written.

For example, The Land of Stories: The Wishing Spell by Chris Colfer was nearly torture to read.  Why?  Because it reads like a 5th grader wrote it.  Almost everything is explained twice, any slightly difficult word was explained in the text (instead of sending readers to a dictionary), and the story drags.  Now, I still read it because I found the story interesting, but it was far less enjoyable than The Wide-Awake Princess by E.D. Baker.  This book has a similar idea: a character journeying through the fairy tale world and meeting all sorts of different characters.  But instead of deeply explaining everything ad nauseam, Baker assumes that her readers have a basic grasp of the English language and how to use a dictionary.

I would like to end by saying that I actually did enjoy Finally by Wendy Mass (and the rest of the Willow Falls series).  It just wasn't as good as other books that I have read.

Love and Mugs,
Leah Joy

Monday Rant: Or Sort Of

I'm not sure if this is really a rant or not, but it may or may not be interesting.

This weekend, I met a student from a local university who is Dutch, as in, actually from the Netherlands.  When I mentioned that my family was also Dutch, he ended up on his own rant about how everyone around here says, "Oh yeah, I'm Dutch, too!" when really only their great-grandfather or whoever came over from the Netherlands.  He says, "No, I'm actually Dutch - as I was born there." And he has a legitimate point.  But I have a counter point.

The USA, in comparison to other countries, is a relatively young country.  While there are people here who have been here since 'the beginning' and far before that, many people from our country immigrated here in the last two centuries.  And I can imagine that, for example, when my grandfather came to the United States from the Netherlands, most people identified with other groups of their nationalities, because they spoke the same language, had a similar heritage, etc.  So, "I'm Dutch" or "I'm Irish", meant something like what this student meant: I was actually born there.

And now, years later, when all their kids and grandkids speak English and have good American names like Robert and Sally, we still keep up that tradition of "I'm half Dutch, a quarter French, and a quarter Irish".

And I can imagine that somewhere down the line, when we all intermarry and have kids who are 15% this and 5% that plus a dozen other percentages, and then they have kids and they have kids and the percentages get smaller and smaller, that we'll stop identifying with our mother countries, because there's just too many.

So, I would like to say to this student: let us be.  We think it's unspeakably cool that you're from the Netherlands.  (Personally, I'm a little lot jealous.)  And we just want to identify with that.  If you don't like it, come back in 200 years and talk to our kids.

Love and Delft,
Leah Joy

P.S. For the record, this student was not being unpleasant about the whole thing.  I think it's just something he gets a lot and didn't really understand.

The Monday Rant: Reading Levels and Bother

I must apologize for my unannounced hiatus, but that's not why I'm here today.  Today, I need to get this rant off my chest and out into the world, because this is something that has been bothering me for a very long time.  And I'm sure all my friends who live near me are sick of hearing about it, so now you get to.  This is a long and complicated rant, so please don't feel required to read all of it.

You may or may not know that until this year, both of my younger siblings have been homeschooled other than band, art, gym, and computers.  (What their local school system calls "Encore" classes.)  And before I go any further, I must add that this is not a homeschooling vs. public schooling argument.  I believe that different kids thrive in different environments because they're different.  I also believe that different home or school environments make one or the other a necessity rather than a choice, so we should all just shut up about one being holier or something.

Anyway, back to the point.  So, I don't know if it's a state law or a local school policy, but once a student reaches 7th grade, they must be a full-time student at the school ('full-time' meaning at least all but 2 classes) in order to participate in sports.  Have you met my brother?  If you took him out of sports, you might as well cut off all his limbs, too.  So my parents made the decision to put him in public school full-time.  (They were originally planning on sending him full-time starting in 9th grade before they knew about this rule.)

He was excited.  He's played on sports teams with many of his new classmates for years and wanted to go to school with them, too.

My parents were nervous, but hopeful.  He's a good kid.

I, having actually attended this school and knowing my brother's personality (smart, quick, sensitive, slow-eater, germaphobic, cares deeply about honesty/truth/justice), was dreading it, but tried not to let my brother know this.  Sometimes expectations rule his brain more than actual events.  Maybe it would be okay.

But for the record, here's what I thought would drive him nuts:
1. Kids who can't do math in their heads.  (Like me.)
2. Germs.  Everywhere.
3. All the time wasted in class with busy work.
4. The incredibly slow pace of the class compared to his quickness in certain classes...
5. ...And not being able to keep up in the classes with which he struggles, because he is too shy to ask for help.
6. Foul language and general bad behavior.
7. People not treating each other with justice and fairness.
8. How long school is and there's no recess (or basketball breaks like there were at home).
9. Short lunch periods.

Well, after his first couple days, he described how he felt about school in terms like 'despair', 'depression', and 'awful'.  They don't give the students enough time to use the bathroom between class, and they are only allowed something like 7 hall passes a semester if they need to go during class, so he usually doesn't get to use the bathroom all day. The math class in which he got placed?  He's done it twice already, but his teacher doesn't pay enough attention to notice that he's miles ahead, so he'll be stuck there all year.  The short lunches were bothering him, too, but he was learning to eat more quickly.  And he was surprised by the amount of foul language being used by kids his age, but thanks to me and my driving skills, it wasn't actually anything he hadn't heard before.

There were a few bright spots.  He had one teacher who didn't feel the need to fill every second of the class with material.  Once the lesson plan was completed, if there were 5 minutes left in the class, the teacher would tell kids they could work on their homework, read a book, or talk quietly to each other.  Art class wasn't as horrible as he had expected (this is as raving a review as art class will ever get).  He actually liked his science teacher.  And of course, he had classes and lunch with some of his friends.

But the big negative kicker was his language arts class.  This teacher had the students write a blog about school.  The teacher would create parameters for the post, and then check them later.  Now, of course Jacob feels he can't write a whole lot on there.  The teacher can see it, so he doesn't feel he can complain about the teacher.  The other students can see it, so he doesn't feel he can complain about them.  But whatever.  The teacher gave them an assignment for their blog and told them it needed to be completed in a few days.  My brother went home and wrote the blog post that night.  The next day in class, the teacher completely changed the assignment.  When my brother mentioned that he had already completed the assignment with the original requirements and asked if that still counted, the teacher said no, he'd have to redo it.  Seriously?  Let's encourage procrastination and discourage proactiveness!

This teacher also had the students fill out a reading interests questionnaire (my brother of course put 'sports books') and I guess they were tested for their 'lexile' (reading level).  The teacher then sat down with each student and talked about what they were currently reading.  My brother was currently reading one of the books from Lemony Snicket's Series of Unfortunate Events.  The teacher told him that this was a red flag because it was "outside his reading interests that he'd listed" and it was "beneath his lexile".  Okay, so first of all, we're now apparently discouraging children to broaden their interests?  So, because The Bible isn't a sports book, is that a red flag, too?  And second of all, he shouldn't read a book beneath his lexile?  Okay, yes, if he only read one book a month, perhaps he should pick something more challenging.  But he read that entire book that day.  And he probably read at least 4 other books that week.  He's certainly reading more than their paltry requirements.  This makes me so mad!

The denouement involves my mom taking him out of two classes: math and language arts.  His schedule had to be rearranged a bit, but now he's not at school as long, and he gets to do math and language arts at home.  He's still struggling adjusting to public school, but my mom realized she's actually glad they're doing this in 7th grade when his grades don't stay on his transcript than in 9th grade, when they do.  He is really smart, but he's not used to the manner in which the questions are asked.  Once he gets used to that, I think he'll do fine in public school.

Again, I have to reiterate that this is not an anti-public-school rant.  No schooling environment can be absolutely perfect.  He has some really great teachers.  They have the budget to do things in classes that he couldn't have learned at home (firing clay in art class, for example).  There are things that my mom can't teach as well as they can in public school.  He gets to be with his friends more often.  And he's loving having lunch with his friends.  Mom will often pack him a chicken-and-cheese quesadilla cut into 8 pieces, and they are apparently the gold standard in lunch trading.  He's gotten chocolate milk for just a few quesadilla pieces.  :)

Love and Lexiles,
Leah Joy

The Monday Rant: Things I'll Never Name My Children

We all know about the taboo on ex-boyfriend or ex-girlfriend names.  And anything that sounds similar. And we can't name our children the same thing as that annoying/mean/stupid person from our K-12 days.  Or anything that sounds similar.  And then, of course, we have to avoid anything that will give our kid weird initials or nicknames.  And anything that's too popular or the same as a celebrity.

But working as a camp registrar, I see a lot of names every day.  In fact, over the course of the summer, I've dealt with nearly 930 names of individual campers, not to mention their parents and siblings.  And this large list of names sometimes leaves me wondering why people choose the names they do.

Brailee and Raimee?  (They're sisters.)
Kaizer?
Guinavier?  (A beautiful name, but not even spelled the 'typical' way.)
Brycen and Bryten are both boys, believe it or not.
So is Kaidence.
We have a Melissa on staff… oh sorry, it's spelled Mellyssa.
Gamiere, Demitrick, and Dalton.  Are we having an ugliest name competition?

I've actually recently heard it put that naming your children is now an extreme sport.

I'm sure I just offended some people, and sure, it's not the end of the world if your kid never gets a magnet with their name on it.  Unique names are great.  My 1-year-old nieces were named Juliana and Selah.  These aren't your Jennifer, Jessica, and Ashley names; they are unique.  But they're not weird! They're beautiful without being obnoxious and original without being ugly.

Your child has to go the rest of their life with that name.  They could be a painter or a rock star.  They might be president or CEO of a company.  They might flip burgers.  Whatever happens, they're stuck with that name on their dressing room door, their desk plate, or their name tag.

Don't give your kids stupid names.

Love and Letters,
Leah Joy

The Monday Rant: No Explanations Needed

Today I am annoyed by:

• Sentences ending in prepositions.
• Endless, obnoxious self-promotion. 
• Pumpkin recipes EVERYWHERE.
• Excessive exclamation points.
• People who refuse to use any punctuation whatsoever.
• General happiness.
• Basically everything.

I think I need an attitude check.  Or some chocolate.

I hope your Monday is better than mine!

Love and Annoyance,

Leah Joy

I'm Back - Also, Stupid People

Summer camp is over.  I had a chance to visit my relatives in Virginia, do some Fall Cleaning (that's what it has been dubbed when you're too busy all summer to really clean your house and you have lots of catching up to do in the Fall), and then to relax for a bit.  Now I'm back with time on my hands again (hopefully to be used wisely), a renewed vigor for my 101 Things Project and this blog and lots of other things, and apparently, a skill for run-on, but technically grammatically-correct, sentences (a la Lewis Carroll).

I do have the intention of soon posting every day again as I did this Spring, but I make no promises as to my acceleration in returning to that velocity.  I have a few big projects this week yet that may consume my time.  But more on those later.  For now, it's Monday, and I have a rant.  Several, actually, since it's been a long time, but I'll save the rest for later.

I was recently looking into purchasing some books from Barnes and Noble's website.  (Long story short: I had already ordered one item but the store is not near anything else I need to do now, so in-store pick-up wasn't an option, and I got free shipping for spending a little bit more, so I was looking for gifts for people to get me up to the free shipping level.)  Of course I turned to Jane Austen and Louisa May Alcott, as those books make the best gifts.  I found a beautiful volume of Austen's four most popular novels (Pride and Prejudice, Sense and Sensibility, Persuasion, and Emma), but was checking some of the reviews to make sure this was a good volume to purchase.  And I found this 'gem':

Click it to make it bigger if you can't read it.  I'm not even going to say anything else about this because I think it speaks for itself.

The silver lining is that "0 out of 4 people found this review helpful."  So there is hope in this world.

Verily, verily, saith the Leah.  Forsooth, alack, and alas.

Love and Austen,
Leah Joy

A Little Humor

(Try to) Enjoy your Monday!

"Life is pain, highness. Anyone who says differently is selling something."

Is This Just My Family?

When my brother and I graduated from high school, my parents hosted a graduation open house for us at our home.  Knowing that hundreds of people would be traipsing about our home, my parents found both of these events fantastic impetus to do those big house projects they'd been wanting to do.  You know, little things like re-flooring half of the main floor (including the kitchen) and replacing the banister above the stairs, like they did for my brother's open house.

It always cracked us up.  We knew how silly it was to add that much more stress on top of the rest of the party planning.  But the project would always get done the night before (or the morning of) and it would look fantastic and be worth it.

And now that we have our own house, I do the same thing.

I have friends coming to stay with us in 2 weeks.  Not quite as many people as an open house, but staying a bit longer.  And I know they don't expect my house to be perfect.  And I know it won't be.  But there are things I wanted to do anyway, and this is as good a time as any to do them.

So I made myself a giant list of things I'd like to have done before they arrive, categorized everything by importance on a scale of 1-5, and then rewrote the list sectioned out by category, so I could focus on the 1 things before the 5 things.  I even left room in each category in case I thought of anything else.

(Have you seen Gilmore Girls?  When it comes to making lists, I'm practically Rory Gilmore.  I totally made Pro-Con lists a decade before I ever even heard of the show.)

And now, less than 2 weeks out, I find myself looking at the list and considering how many miles to the nearest insane asylum.  I know if it doesn't all happen it'll be fine.  I just want to take advantage of the opportunity to kick myself in the pants to get as much done as possible.

Do you do this?  I'm not just talking the rush around to throw the dirty dishes into the dishwasher and sweep the kitchen floor crumbs into the vent when your grandmother calls and says she'll be dropping by in 10 minutes.  I'm talking the landmark, mountainous projects we take on just before a deadline.  Is it just us? 

Love and Laughter,
Leah Joy

The Monday Rant: Inconsiderate Non-Schedulers

Today's rant is a full-fledged personal rant.  I usually try not to get too personal with these, but today is the exception.  I won't be naming names, but the hours I spent fuming over this issue will not be in vain, for lo, I can rant on my blog.

We have a college group that meets on Sundays after church.  We have met on Sundays after church since our inception in January of 2008.  For a while we met on Sunday evenings instead of right after church, but we have always met on Sunday.  While I was in college, I only missed once or twice because of illness (plus the whole semester when I was literally 1,000 miles away), despite being scheduled to work on Sundays.  I made it happen, because a small group is important.

Since I married the group leader in September of 2011, I have been rather in charge of cooking lunch for the group.  Since we meet right after church, we always have a nice meal together before diving into whatever we're studying.  And since we moved just down the road from the church, we've invited the group to meet at our house.  It's more comfortable, we have real plates, and it's just a nicer small group setting.

Well, starting a few months prior to our move, people started just not showing up regularly.  We finally discussed it and it was made clear that every week was too much commitment.  They had other places to be, other people to see on Sundays, but if we met only every other week, they could definitely do it.  So we decided to meet every first and third Sunday.  That's easy enough to remember and very easy to schedule.  Since we decided that, we've had 4 first or third Sundays that aren't major holidays or church-wide luncheons.

Of those 4, one person came twice, and another came once.  That's right, we've had 3 weeks of 3-person lunches where 2 of the people were Caleb and I, and 1 week of just us.  That is not a small group.  That's hardly a dinner party.

(They managed to come just fine to the church-wide luncheons.)

So why am I pissed off?  Oh, you couldn't tell?

Let's see what happens.

"Oh, certainly. I can definitely do 1st and 3rd Sundays; that makes it so much easier to schedule!"
"Oh, you say next week is a 3rd Sunday?  I can definitely be there!  I'm planning on it."
"Yes!  I'll definitely see you next Sunday for group!"

So many people definitely planning on it.  I break my back (figuratively) cleaning the house and cooking a nice meal and then only one person shows up.  (And I am very grateful to those one persons for helping cut back on our leftovers!  That one week, we ate mac & cheese for, well, a week!)

In fact, this week, it meant cleaning the house the night before, then getting up at 6:00 to go to church early with Caleb (he has to be there at 7:00), sitting around until the first service starts at 9:00, then leaving immediately afterwards (meaning I don't get to see my family who comes to 2nd service, whom I have not seen all week and am desperately missing), to go home and cook for a group of people who did not show up.

There are lots of adjectives I could use to describe this behavior and here are a few of them: rude, obnoxious, annoying, irresponsible, and inconsiderate.

I understand that being in college, one can't always schedule out their week perfectly.  And I'm not asking for 2 weeks' notice, or even 1 week's notice.  I would like to know by Saturday evening at 8:00.  Do I need to get up early, miss seeing my family, and cook and clean for you?  If you are going to show up, I will do it gladly. I enjoy having company over and I love to cook for people.  Seriously, I'm like a giddy schoolgirl when we have company!  But if you're not going to show up, just tell me, for Pete's sake!  Surely you can know that by Saturday evening!

Love and Day-Timers,
Leah Joy