Monday, September 16, 2013

The Monday Rant: Things I'll Never Name My Children

We all know about the taboo on ex-boyfriend or ex-girlfriend names.  And anything that sounds similar. And we can't name our children the same thing as that annoying/mean/stupid person from our K-12 days.  Or anything that sounds similar.  And then, of course, we have to avoid anything that will give our kid weird initials or nicknames.  And anything that's too popular or the same as a celebrity.

But working as a camp registrar, I see a lot of names every day.  In fact, over the course of the summer, I've dealt with nearly 930 names of individual campers, not to mention their parents and siblings.  And this large list of names sometimes leaves me wondering why people choose the names they do.

Brailee and Raimee?  (They're sisters.)
Guinavier?  (A beautiful name, but not even spelled the 'typical' way.)
Brycen and Bryten are both boys, believe it or not.
So is Kaidence.
We have a Melissa on staff… oh sorry, it's spelled Mellyssa.
Gamiere, Demitrick, and Dalton.  Are we having an ugliest name competition?

I've actually recently heard it put that naming your children is now an extreme sport.

I'm sure I just offended some people, and sure, it's not the end of the world if your kid never gets a magnet with their name on it.  Unique names are great.  My 1-year-old nieces were named Juliana and Selah.  These aren't your Jennifer, Jessica, and Ashley names; they are unique.  But they're not weird! They're beautiful without being obnoxious and original without being ugly.

Your child has to go the rest of their life with that name.  They could be a painter or a rock star.  They might be president or CEO of a company.  They might flip burgers.  Whatever happens, they're stuck with that name on their dressing room door, their desk plate, or their name tag.

Don't give your kids stupid names.

Love and Letters,
Leah Joy

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