My Life as a Disney Show

I'll admit it: Disney Channel is my weakness. On a bad day, I enjoy descending to my basement with a blanket and a cup of apple juice and watching Hannah Montana or Jonas L.A. The thing about Disney Channel is that after you've watched it for just a little while, you start thinking more dramatically - the way the shows are. So lately, because I spent a few days catching up on Hannah Montana (I was a season behind!), and because I'm extremely bored in Philosophy, I've started thinking about what my life would look like as a Disney show.

First of all, my character would have two voices: the out-loud (polite) voice, and the thinking (dripping with sarcasm) voice.

Example:

Girl: So wait, you really lived in a nunnery?

Thinking Voice: No, you idiot. I was making up a story as a literary device to convey a point.

Out-Loud Voice: No... I was joking. Heh heh.

Example:

Weird Customer at Thrift Store: Hey girl - I'd like to donate my change to you.

Thinking Voice: You disgusting slob, I'd like to shove your change down your throat, but you probably haven't brushed your teeth in days, so instead please just understand that I'm a cashier, not a harlot.

Out-Loud Voice: I'm good. Bye.

Secondly, there would be several freeze-frame moments for character thoughts. The rest of the screen goes blurry; only the character in question is in focus. The character, however, is still frozen. A big thought bubble appears in which there is movement, whether it is the same character thinking out loud, or a memory of another character saying something.

Example:

Up-start Freshman girl: No, I really, like, think it's totally more like this, you know?

*freeze frame*

In the thought bubble of my character, a smaller me appears.

Smaller Me: Are you really going to let her treat you like that? *gesturing wildly* She's a freshman! And half of her words are unnecessary!

In the thought bubble, a smaller Freshman Girl joins Smaller Me. Smaller Me promptly punches Freshman Girl in the face.

Thought bubble disappears, un-freeze original frame. My character is smiling happily.

Of course, each episode would have to include some shenanigan, and for it to really qualify as a Disney show, I'd have to learn some life lesson every episode.

So that's the end of my Disney spiel.

And speaking of shenanigans, here's a story exemplifying how Leah has broken out of the teacher's-pet, straight-A-student shell.

So we're in Philosophy, and all the commuters have just gotten an email about how there's free Jet's Pizza for commuters today. The minute our prof. says, "Ok, 2 minute break," Zach, Eric, and I (all commuters) flee the room. It took us more like 6 minutes to get the pizza, but boy was it worth it. I realize that maybe this is something you all do or would do anyway, but even a year ago I would have never done this. My "Thought Voice" would have said, "Oh, pizza sounds good, but what will the teacher think? And your reputation!" Today, my Thought Voice says, "This professor has shown disrespect for your time. And while repaying an eye for an eye is not necessary, free lunch is a good thing. Take risks. Create shenanigans, because you're in college for only a few more weeks. Enjoy it."

I feel like when I came to college I had to reverse the growing up process a little bit - just learning to enjoy life. Now that I'm nearly done, I realize that being 'mature beyond my years' (as my mom always says) isn't always fun. Okay okay, life isn't all about fun - but sometimes you need fun.

Okay, class is almost over.

Love and Shenanigans,

Leah Joy