Monday, September 26, 2011

Jobless Plans: The Monday Rant

Dear Reader(s),

I'm going to try something new for a while, maybe forever (not). Since I have no job right now, I have a lot of time on my hands. Keeping the apartment clean, cooking, changing my name on everything, and even job-hunting don't fill up all of my time. Therefore, I'm taking up a new blog project - and it's DAILY. Okay, probably just weekdays, unless I do a Saturday or Sunday Special (spectacular that both weekend days start with the same letter as "Special"). I kind of want to do themed days, like some houses have a "Taco Tuesday" - except not that one, because it's really hard to blog about tacos every week. After a couple months, I'd need a new Tuesday.

So, I'm working on finding things that I can do every week for an undetermined period of time, and this first week is kind of experimental. Actually, the whole shebang is experimental.

Therefore, allow me to present the first ever (from this blog, at least)....


But Leah, why rant on Mondays? Isn't Monday bad enough in most people's minds already without you adding more complaining?

I understand your concerns, and believe me, your call is very important to me. My hope is that my rants will be funny enough that you will actually feel cheered up on Monday, ready to take on the man and survive your job with more than your usual alacrity.

Please see below for "actual" blog post (those quotations are unnecessary, but I'm leaving them in because I think it's funny) and not this letter.



The Monday Rant

This week's rant is a complaint about complainers.

I rant a lot and I tend to enjoy it sometimes. A lot of other people do, too, but here's my problem with them: they're not funny. Like, if you're going to waste my time by whining at me, at least have a joke in there somewhere. You take yourself far too seriously.

(Since 'farther' refers to distance, and 'further' is metaphorical-ish, when one says, "You take yourself far too seriously", I feel like one should say instead, "You take yourself fur too seriously." But I guess that's wrong.)

So, this is a rant against all those people who whine about Facebook publicizing all their information. It's a social network; that's what it's supposed to do. Of course, I guess the joke's on me, because I don't have to read what you say, and yet I do, and then I complain about it.

This is a rant against all those people who complain about the cost of cigarettes instead of just quitting.

This is a rant against all those people who complain about who's in office when they didn't vote. (That's the only reason I vote, actually, so I have a right to complain. Not really.)

This is a rant against people who complain when the Lions lose. Get over it already.

This is a rant against people who complain about the weather. Like complaining is going to do anything.

Okay, that's really all I have to say. If you're going to complain, at least tell me a knock-knock joke afterwards!

Knock, Knock.
Who's there?
Cash who?
No thanks, but I'd love some peanuts.

Monday Rant - Over and Out,

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