The Monday Rant: Mars Needs Moms (A Movie Review)

Last night, Caleb and I were super tired starting around... oh 4:00pm. So we made a grocery list and then didn't know what to do. He started up Escanaba in da Moonlight, but partway through, I realized that as much as I wanted to finally see this movie and as much as I liked the humor, I was really not in the mood for it. I was too tired.

So Caleb put on Mars Needs Moms. It's a Disney movie, so it has to be okay for a tired Leah, right?

I remember watching certain movies with my little brother Jacob (who is wired a lot like me, except for the sports part) and him saying my exact thought out loud: "This is so stressful!"

And that is how I felt about Mars Needs Moms. It started off just being about a whiny kid whose mom gets kidnapped by martians. Then it turns out that they're going to terminate her, steal her memories of parenting, and put them in a nanny-bot to raise baby martians. Oh, and Milo, the kid, tags along and they have a warrant out for his death, too. Oh, and he meets another human named Gribble, and eventually the martians want him dead, too. Oh, and they meet a martian who wants to help them, and then the other martians want her dead, too. So basically everyone you come to like in this movie is wanted dead. Great start to a kids' movie.

So, how do they plan to steal Milo's mom's memories? Well, they have this process worked out and they've been using it for years. They have a long row of large lenses on the surface of the planet. When the sun's rays hit these, they intensify, finally reaching the final lens, where all that power is directed into a giant needle that pokes into the mom's head - and destroys her completely and she disappears. WOW. NOT SCARY AT ALL.

Add in the giant trash heap where Gribble lives, the creepy-looking Martian supervisor who wants everyone dead, the tribalistic martian men, and the weird helmets all the bad guys (girls - martian women) wear...

And if you have children who are sensitive at all, don't let them watch this movie.

Now, I should add that I did enjoy the movie. There were some really touching moments and some really good parts. But it was pretty intense for most of the movie, and especially at the climax of the crisis.

And that is all I have to say.

Love and Mars,

Leah Joy